One of the most important ways that we can look after ourselves is by learning to say No to things that don’t really matter so much to us on our life journey.
You may be thinking you are saying Yes to Life by saying Yes to many things that come your way. It could be an invitation to a dinner, an opportunity to go on a holiday with a friend. The question is, are you true to yourself when you say Yes. Are you saying Yes because you enjoy dining with the people who have invited you or you saying Yes because you feel obligated?
If you feel your time would be better spent doing something else other than going to dinner, then you are right. Or do you feel excited about that dinner invitation? Life provides us with many opportunities – some of them are things we want to experience; some of them that we don’t feel inclined to do but feel we will let down others by not embracing the opportunity. How many times have we all done the latter? Just because we feel obligated, we take on things that do not support us on our journey of being true to ourselves. This may be at work where you are asked to take on an additional assignment when your day is already full with projects that are in full swing.
When we don’t feel good about doing something, we are not only doing a dis-service to ourselves but also to those who are near and dear to us. When we do something that we don’t want to, we usually end up in a foul mood and that feeling spreads like wild fire within ourselves and transfers to our families.
Saying No is hard for most of us. But we can learn how to say No to things that don’t really matter to us. You can start with little things like declining invitations to coffee or dinner if you don’t feel right about it. This will not make us bad. On the contrary, Life is always about choices and this is a choice we can make to feel good. It’s important to check in with the “feeling” side within us now and then and say NO to things that don’t matter to us so as to not feel overwhelmed with what is in front of us.
Success is defined as “the accomplishment of an aim or a purpose”, according to the Oxford dictionary.
Success meant various things to me at different stages of my life. When I was at school, success to me was getting good grades because that was the aim of going to school. When I started my work life, success meant becoming financially secure and to this end, working long hours were considered very normal by me. Once my family included a child, success meant achieving work-life balance so I could spend time with my child and continue building my career, which at the time was in IT.
Today, if you asked what success means to me, I will say success is about feeling good inside; it is not about getting good grades, becoming financially secure or getting a work-life balance. Anything that I do, as long as I feel good about it within myself ensures I am successful. I no longer look at my success through other people’s eyes. When I made a conscious shift from a corporate job to becoming a Life Coach, I gave my dreams wings. The result is that I feel great inside. I feel very successful.
How do you define success? Do you feel good about your life? Are there any changes you can make to ensure you are happy and you feel good?
Maybe, it’s an art class that you always wanted to take. Maybe you wanted to learn to dance or sing or sew or cook or write. Whatever it is that you wanted to always do but never found time to, see if you can create some time to do it. You can start small with just a few minutes of each day and build it up. Notice how happy this will make you feel, how successful you will see yourself as 😊
In February this year, hail as big as golf balls came raining down where I live. My car was parked outside! After the hail storm passed, we checked the car and noticed dents all over. I rang the insurance company and was asked to bring the car in for assessment. Once assessed, I was given a date in April for bringing my car in for servicing.
April came and I took my car to the repairer. I was told it will take 12 business days to fix my car and I will be contacted if it is ready any earlier.
I was using my husband’s car while my car was being repaired. A week after my car was taken away, I had just returned home after taking my husband and daughter to the bus stop. I received a call just as I was pulling up at home that my daughter had missed her bus. I asked if my husband could take our daughter to school if I brought his car to him. He said yes.
So, I did not have a car for that day. I had an appointment that afternoon and I could not walk to that place. Checking public transport, I realised I had to take two buses to get to my appointment. This appointment was very important to me. I usually have a plan B which would have been to reschedule the appointment but, on this day, I decided I would stick with plan A which was to keep the appointment. I told my parents who were visiting us that it would take me an hour to get there but I would go.
We discussed how easy it would have been if I had my car with me that day. Instead of dwelling on what I did not have, I chose to focus on how to get to my appointment. I also remembered that the repairer would call me once the car was ready.
About an hour after this, I had a call from the repair company saying my car was ready. I thanked the lady who rang and felt so elated that focussing on how to accomplish something would shift everything around me so that everything was working for me.
Try it yourself. Focus on what is working in your life rather than what is not. You will experience a Shift within and you will find out that everything in your Life is in working order 😊